What if you changed your perspective?

In what I like to call my "big girl life", I work for a large food company. I spend a lot of time sitting in meetings learning about macro trends in the world. The economics of the average family and how much (or little) they have to spend on groceries.

Our office building is smack dab in the middle of a major city. Walking down the street, I am often stung by the irony of corporate executives stepping out of the way for the legless, homeless man to navigate the city sidewalks in his duct taped wheelchair.

The homeless lady who yells obscenities at the wind.

The trumpet guy with his dirty instrument case, entertaining the more financially fortunate on their lunch breaks for an hourly wage of $3.18-all in change.

How does this happen?

All I know is that when I think about changing my life, I know this. I like a warm bed in my cozy house, a shower whenever I want, medical insurance, a foofoo cup of coffee every now and then and not worrying if I spend more than $1.38 per person per day to feed my family. I know, my chaos is someone else's heaven. #getoveryourself

Every "big girl" career decision I've ever made has been mostly about the salary. In my twisted thought process; the larger the salary, the less I have to worry. (Which for the record, I'm fantastic at.)

I often justify this head job by thinking; your kids can go to college, they can get new shoes when they need them, you don't have to wait until the next paycheck, they can join obnoxiously expensive show choir, they can go to camp.

By doing this job and trading my life hours for a paycheck, we turn can'ts into cans. I can give them opportunity, knowledge, experience and choices. 

That's a lot of power and responsibility given to a j-o-b.

So you can understand how the thought of wanting to quit isn't just about the job.

If I quit, they suffer. I worry. We become the statistics. I become the wind yeller.

Only, what if we don't?
 

http://youtu.be/je3rQevW-cw

 

 

The last 6 weeks..

A whirlwind. Somewhere between April and now, I've realized that a.) I haven't posted here in like forever and b.) I've turned 40. 

40 is supposed to be a big deal but if truth be told, I feel like a surer version of 22 year old me. Only 22 me didn't have these random chin hairs....and 22 me didn't google "brain food" because I can't spit out a coherent sentence. (Btw, Celery, blueberries, & almonds).

My sabbatical went way too fast...I'm not even sure that I got in the groove until week 3. I'm back at work these days determined to just breathe and trust that my life dots are connecting.(easier said then done.)

In the meantime, I'll just keep doing what I do. 

An art-y pictorial recap of the last 6 weeks..

Me. As a fox.  On a Monday.

Wall art week.

Printed my illustration on fabric: I've called this series, "mama propaganda."

My hyper lush pencil case.

Dang Mary Oliver and her truth. That's me practicing calligraphy.

This 17 year old makes my day. 

Sewing my junk finds into something useful. ( I am obsessed with yarn tassels.)

More lettering practice.

Meditating. (Er, not--just drawing someone doing it.) I'm here: page 3.

http://bootcamp.lillarogers.com/bootcamp-may-2014-gallery/

And spending time with my favorite people.

#thisis40#lifezoomingby

A wannabe who may be...

It's a glorious Saturday, but let's be honest,it's going to be better than usual for the next 22 days. I'm on sabbatical (WHAT!?) for a short time and since the odds of it happening again match the lottery winning cadence, I'm going to revel....and be aware. 

I can't just be on sabbatical without a plan so I'm taking this course. Once and for all, I'm going to devote the next 22 days to making art. 

My selfie and for right now, logo of rebekaha designs

(And if I get nothing else out of this, I'll have at least learned something, right?)

So my "ahas" for the week:

-I hate the word "deserve". There is nothing in life we deserve. Everything is a choice. 

-In order to G.E.T., we must A.S.K. (I've been talking about sabbaticals for a few years, but never thought to ask for one. Duh...)

 

-Believe in yourself. Be scared. Just do.

-Sometimes, just finishing something, can set you free. I felt so much pressure to finish week 1's assignment that I declared myself done yesterday. I was so tired of trying to make it "good" and stay within the rules that I forgot to have fun.

-Sometimes experimenting can lead to a happy accident. 

-"Step" size in Photoshop= polka dots!

Week One's assignment was to design a bolt fabric using fruit and casserole dishes in a vintage-y kitchen theme. Meh. None of it was inspiring to me but I reminded myself that illustration clients don't care if you're inspired, they just want finished and fabulous. 

I started doodling....and had no idea what would come out of this. I had no idea how to design these doodles AND keep my style, my preference for clean graphic fabric, and the subject matter within the rules. 

(Note, none of the above doodles made the cut.) My assignment was done! Loved it; boldly graphic, was very much me, and had a message-SUCCESS! 

Until Friday, when I watched Lilla's video to our class. I heard 2 things in that 19 minute video; "your talent is not finite" AND "I don't want to see polka dots. Any in-house graphic team can create a polka dot. Use your icons, make it special." Yep, I'm a polka dot offender. BUT, I did finish and frankly, I love those damn dots. 

Since I was done, there wasn't any pressure to create something new. So, I sat down with my coffee this morning and messed around with my design. 

I started a new polka dot pattern and filled a layer with a pattern instead of filled a new layer (sorry, photoshop geek talking) and what happened was a bold graphic vintage-y pattern. I went with it and I'll be damned--love this one more. 

So, that's week 1, I had NO idea this was in me last week. Life is short. Lick the damn bowl.

Soul Sisters

This is a 2-part post on soul sisters; I have at least 4 of them, one hasn't a clue I exist but we'll get to that later. 

Anyone who really knows me, especially one of these 3, knows that all they have to do is whisper a doodle task and I'll drop the dusting, the laundry, and the need for nourishment. Hell, I'm nourishing my soul--who needs to eat?

The conversation happens something like this:

SS: "I know you're really busy but I kinda volunteered you to make our button this year. Hope you don't mind and you can say "No"."

Me: "Are you freakin' kidding? You know don't even have to ask."

The funny thing is sometimes these doodles end up resembling her & I. I don't try to do that and I never realize it until after the fact. 

Once again, here we are. (Immortalized on this small town swag.) 

Which gets me to the soul sister who has no idea who I am. 

It's "nesting season" here--cold, snowy, ish. For me, I hate it all except that it gives me an excuse to stay in and create. Sometimes, creating with someone else's art is better than my own. 

Her drawings inspire me, are much like my own, and are so damn cute. (Plus, not having to wait for an etsy purchase is right up my instant gratification alley.)

She hasn't a clue, but embroidering her design was just what I needed yesterday. 

Thank you, Soul Sister Lilipopo.

She calls it "Catching Wishes". I call it love.

You can get your very own instant pattern here..

Which got me thinking (surprise, surprise) that you might need a brain break.

So here's a B&W copy of the "Girls on Escape"--Print it out. Color It. Embroider it. Frame it. Whatever you want to do--just don't sell it. (Karma, remember?) 

Get it here.

Call your soul sister. Tell her Thank you. Make something.

Nesting

I've got a case of the "post-holiday, post winter vacation, mid-winter darkness, almost 40, need a change but haven't a clue" blues. Well, that's a mouthful.

Big thinker, not so great on the execution front. So instead of launching (ie doing something about it), I retreat. How's that for keyboard courage?

Retreat isn't always wrong but a healthier balance could be better.

During this retreating phase, I keep myself doing what makes me feel like me. What makes me stop thinking about the future and keeps me in the NOW.

(It's all about rewards. One could ask themself, "Why are you treating yourself with a reward of allowing  yourself to be yourself?"

Well, that, right there, is dysfunction at it's finest.) 

Anyways, this illustration probably says it all. 

Doodling & reading. A doodling bibliophile. Amen. 

You can buy this print @ my Society 6 shop--along with some other goodies. 

Go doodle something..I'm off to my happy place.